Being Dislike

During my high school year, I experienced what society called as 'An Outcast'.

Like any 16 years old teenage kids, mine started with being famous. No, it wasn't me who is famous. Though I was famous way before entering the boarding school. Back to the main story, me being famous is a part of being the supporting character of any heroine in a movie. During those time, I have three beautiful and gorgeous friends who most people called them as 'WOW'. Yes, they were called that because they literally make people go "Wow!" with their looks and personality. Nice, kind, active in sports, smart - everything that make a famous people, well, famous. Now, the question is, when did it started going wrong between us?

It started when I was accused for being a traitor. Among those three friends, one of them have a rumor going around saying she is lesbian. This is due to the fact that she spend most of her time with one of this junior. But lets not talk about that. A lot of thing happened between those duration of time. to summarize it - rumors go around, I tried to stop, rumors stopped, some people accused me because of my position, I cried, forgive forget and this all lead to me shutting myself from the world.

What did I do? I sit alone, walk alone, run alone, eat alone that I even spend time alone at some dark corner. I even hide in my locker. I was alone, and I don't trust anyone. 

After a year, I was most likely 'found' by someone. There is this one type of person in every school, the one we would call as 'The Indifferent'. She act too differently from what others did. She is strict, smart in her own way, talk sarcastically and being alone make her look even more bright. Then we have this one more person called 'The Connector'. Everybody just simply love her. When she talk, people would be glad. When she walk, people would be calling her name. But this what make people never get too close or too distance from her. And this type of person is who found me, from the center of hell and save me from my own desperation. Pull me out even when I pushed them, they make me question if hero do exists?

To avoid writing a sad, lifeless and dramatic post, let me tell you the important plot from this story. Due to my dark past, I've created a really thin but invisible line among people. I distrust people because I was betrayed once but I have faith in people that I am more than willing to give my bank account password to others. I don't like spending times with others because its tired me but I hate being lonely more than anything in the world. Instead of being jealous of my friends being famous, I am more afraid to lose them. I wanted to text them every second that I hold myself back in because I was scared of being annoying. Things that I do, I expressed it differently from I wanted and when I finally expressed it, I expressed it too much that people don't understand my sincerity. In conclusion, I just want someone to 'find' me again and say, "Hey there, I love you and I want you to know that."

Now, please do remember the next sentence I'm going to type. I, dislike being dislike and I, dislike people being dislike that I, am willing to be dislike if that what it's take to make them, not being dislike.

Therefore, please.. have mercy to people like me.

:')